Why they didn't survive Paris   JIBBS
by LiLmIsSpOkAdOt
Summary: This story is a possiblity of why Jibbs separated and why they are so protective of their past?


It was the end of the day in an empty ball pin as one lone agent sat at his desk writing. Agent Gibbs was working late to finish his report on a case, a case that had caused many tense moments and arguments.

Agents DiNozzo had gone home with a more physical memory of that day which included a fight with the bad guy, being beaten by the bad guy and being taken to the hospital.

Agent McGee had gone home with a mixture of feeling some being a bitter annoyance from having to endure a particularly name calling day with Agent DiNozzo and then feelings of guilt for feeling annoyed when Tony was injured.

Agent David intended to go home for a soak after a long day but found the constant voice in her head too much to fight. The certain voice in her head often came about when Tony was involved and was beginning to crack her strong ironclad appearance. Today the voice was worried for Tony and therefore when she left she made her way to his apartment.

Director Jennifer Shepard was finishing reading reports for different cases in her office but found the frustration she had encountered earlier that day knocked her focus. Jenny closed the case file stood and fetched her coat and turned off the light as she walked out the door.

For Agent Gibbs this case had hit a nerve but not because of its context but because of the effect it had had on the relationships within his team. The team was the foundation that could not be broken because it was the one thing you could always count on, if you couldn't count on it you yourselves as an investigator are broken.

Although it had happened more than once, in this case he had found himself butting heads with the Director, but more than that he had been butting heads with Jenny. The Director and Jenny were one person but he did not see the two the same and so he was beginning to worry how this would affect him… as a consequence he came to the conclusion of clearing the air… something he found in most cases highly unnecessary and pointless.

Jethro closed his case file, and as he took off his glasses as he saw Jenny out of the corner of his eye walking down the stairs. She too had noticed him, decided to say goodnight but thought better off it, she didn't wish to give a friendly goodnight to and unappreciating recipitant. Jethro however wanted to talk.

"Jen"

"Yes, Agent Gibbs" she tried to keep her voice as calm as possible she neither wished to appear upset or angry as it might have shown she cared

"Was there a reason?"

"For what?"

"What do you mean for what, you've been opposed to everything I've said the past couple of days!"

Jenny didn't blink or retaliate she merely looked at him, he was right. Jenny didn't care that he was right, she was neither bothered by the fact she had been against him for the past 2 days nor that it was uncalled for.

She simply said "yes" and with that she continued towards the elevator

"Hey" he shouted "why?"

Jenny stopped and stood for a second then abruptly turned and walked right up to him so they could quite clearly see deep in to the others eyes. Jethro didn't flinch or show any hesitation in continuing their conversation, if anything he was glad of her invading what some people would call personal space.

Both emotionally withdrawn and private people Jenny and Jethro could only see the truth when looking in the others eyes, it was a powerful connection they had but also their weakness.

"Why do you care Jethro?" it was a question that took him aback. True was the fact that they no longer dated and only saw each other on a professional capacity, but he never thought there was any doubt they still cared for one another. He didn't reply only looked searching in her eyes for a clue to 'why' she doubts his concern for her. She spoke and gave an answer

"Nearly 7 years ago I made a choice…. A choice I have mixed feeling about but I stand by my decision, yesterday you made a passing comment going something like 'making choices about people you care about is hard, at least for most people Jen'.

She paused observing his lack of reaction and so continued…

"Jethro the choice I made was one of the hardest I've ever made and the fact is you have no idea what my feelings were behind that choice were, so don't judge me…. And don't forget you made a choice too… to leave"

"I wanted you to come with me!"

"I didn't know that then plus it was not that simple and frankly you finding it simple says more about you than me!" She turned to leave not wishing to divulge to answer to the question she knew would follow.

"So make it simple and just tell me, before the next case we work on ends badly because NCIS cannot communicate due to the verbal abuse that is used in every conversation" his anger was rising but Jenny's was cooling, she softened as another hard choice in her life was upon her, whether to tell him the truth or not when it could tear their deteriating relationship to pieces. She reflected back to Paris to the week before Jethro told Jenny he had been offered a place at Washington DC NCIS office, in that week she had found out something that was shocking, at least to her.

Jenny turned back and returned to the icy blue eyes that had first caught her attention.

"Do you remember our last meal together in Paris?"

"Yeah"

"Do you remember why we were having dinner?"

"You needed to tell me something?"

"Yes I did, but we never got that far did we… I…I walked out"

Jethro did not reply he just let her speak, he knew then she wouldn't react kindly to the news, he had just told her he was accepting another job, she was upset… she actually became so upset and left before he had to ask her to join him in America.

Jenny pulled away from his eyes not able to handle the emotion boiling as his would merge with hers, she looked to the floor and then closed her eyes as she tried to control herself

"We had not seen each other for a week before the meal due to work, but 3 days before you told me… before to told me you were leaving… I discovered that I… erm... that I" she stopped looked into his eyes as a single tear fell down her cheek

"I found that I was pregnant, 4 weeks gone" she wiped the tear away and tried to compose herself, however she resorted to pacing up and down the ballpin "that's what I was trying to tell you... but I just couldn't tell you when you told me you were leaving… I couldn't find the words… I had spent the moments from when I found out until the dinner in a blind panic unable to process the information that I was going to have a baby… that I was going to be a mother… and you" She looked straight into his eyes "… you a father, for the first time or so I thought… there was no doubt I didn't plan for it but I never thought of getting rid of it.." she was stuttering and in a flash of panic topped stepped back and watched what could have been the emotions of the past 7 years in a minute on Jethro's face.

"But why…" he started

"…Didn't I tell you" she continued " because at the time I was an emotional wreck and just couldn't handle it but then…" she sniffed as the tears began to fall hard and fast to the floor her physical exterior now reflecting the emotion inside " the day after the meal I got chronic abdominal pains... I couldn't breath Jethro… I'm so sorry but I lost the baby, hurt so much" she wept

"I should've been there for you, if you told me I could have…"

"But don't you see, we were working in a professional job in dangerous and potentially life threatening position…. that was what was supposed to be our first concern, I always said that we couldn't be distracted not for a second on the job by our personal relationship… but I love you and I loved the baby I was going to have and knowing that threw away everything I worked for you worked for, everything we could for others we could no longer do because we weren't in a professional capacity any more… we were going to be a family!" she finished emotions highly charged and so she stopped and they just stood there… just running over and the large piece of information.

After a view minutes she returned to reality and noted softly

"Its also why I didn't say goodbye writing you a letter was all I could bare" and with that she spun on heal and called for the elevator as Jethro stood eyes glazed immersed in the revelation that he had just been told.

Jenny stepped into the elevator, pressed the car park level button and faced the back wall her back to the doors. She was breathing deep and wiped the wet tears from her face… she couldn't let anyone see her like this, how could she face work tomorrow she had ruined everything now, she used her finger to remove mascara from under her eyes and then stood with her eyes closed blocking again the feelings and memories that caused so much pain. The doors opened.

Jenny turned to walk out but suddenly took in a sharp breath that made her heart miss a beat, before her stood the most unexpected thing… Jethro, slightly out of breath from the three-floor flight of stairs he just ran down to beat the elevator. They stood and looked at each other for a while as though trying to decide the right course of action but then he spoke.

"You said love" Jenny was gave him a quizzical look

"You said love" he repeated slowly, "not loved, love is present tense loved is past… Jen did you mean to say love?"

"Yes" she said with no hesitation. Jethro stepped towards her stepped into her body and placed a hand on her neck and the other around her back and kissed her… she has just said all he needed to know, and this kiss… well the kiss you cant describe unless you have been in love.

The End


End file.
